I'd like to take a moment to welcome you to "Surviving an Affair". Since you've landed onn this site, chances are you or someone you know is dealing with the aftermath of an affair. The effects of infidelity on a relationship are profound... trust has been betrayed, and couples dealing with infidelity issues are often left wondering if there is any way the relationship can ever be the same again.I won't tell you that surviving an affair is an easy task - in fact, it's probably one of the hardest things you and your partner will ever go through. I will tell you, though, that it can be done. The critical element is bringing together you and your spouse to commit to saving the relationship.
This means that the partner who had the affair has to end it - there's no way around that. He or she must also be completely honest about the affair - this is not a time for sugar-coating or hiding details, no matter how painful they may be. This is essential to re-establishing trustworthiness.
The partner who way betrayed has to take the process of healing and forgiveness seriously. It doesn't happen overnight... but in order to save the marriage, he or she must face all of the emotions surrounding the affair. It won't do any good to gloss over these emotions or just pretend that it's all okay. Honesty is very important here - the spouse who had the affair has to know how the betrayed partner feels.
Even getting to the point where you and your partner can start talking about rebuilding your relationship can be difficult. There are a variety of resources out there that can help you get to that point - I recommend Save the Marriage by Dr. Lee Baucom.
Surviving an affair is difficult, but the affair doesn't have to destroy your marriage. I've seen many couples bounce back from infidelity to become closer than ever... and you and your partner can too.
